Contributing Writer: Cariahnna

The idea of self-love has always been a complex subject for me to wrap my head around. I mean it sounds like something so simple and you would think the basis of our existence on this earth would be to love the one and only definite thing that we’ll ever know—ourselves. Unfortunately, for many, including myself, the journey to self-love hasn’t always been so kind. As a sexual and emotional abuse survivor finding myself was not always something that I knew I needed to do. However, the past few years have made me so grateful for the “body positive” movement because it has challenged me to destroy negative body image ideals that I once had. With tremendous weight gain during high school followed by tremendous weight loss after the end of a toxic 5 year relationship and then the regain of weight upon entering a healthy relationship all the while battling high anxiety and depression, my idea of what a “beautiful body” was was very skewed. Watching other women truly put their whole selves, “flaws” and all on the internet made me so envious at first. All I wanted was to be able to love every inch of my being like they did. These women were free and slaves to no-ones beauty standards. I yearned for that sense of freedom.

It took a lot of prayer, tears, and courage to get to where I am now mentally. I had to trust myself— I have to trust myself. To be body positive is not to simply wake up one morning and love everything about yourself. Like any relationship, having a body positive relationship with yourself requires hard work. You have to wake up every morning and make the conscious decision to accept who you are and say “Its okay that I have (insert something you’re insecure about), but I know that I am worthy of love and that I add value to the world that I exist in.” You have to live in a consistent space of self acceptance and be realistic with yourself. If you know that something is causing you harm, then fix it, but if you’re simply insecure because the world told you that you should be then you have to plant your feet firmly in the ground, look back at the world, and say, “Screw you, I AM GOOD ENOUGH. And I won’t let anyone take that freedom from me.” Being body positive has nothing to do with being perfect and contrary to popular belief just because you are body positive doesn’t mean that you still don’t have insecurities— it simply means that you won’t allow your insecurities to stop you from living your life freely.