We'reOkay

January 10, 2019: "I woke up on January 1, 2019 in a pool of vomit containing bits of greens, fried chicken, and Sauvignon Blanc. I’m done feeling badly for myself. So what’s up? Let’s talk. I began to realize that I was profoundly alone. Don’t get me wrong, I was not alone in the sense that I didn’t have anyone I can turn to. I have a very loving family, one who’s always there for me and particularly supportive sister who I can call with any trouble or stress I have and know that I’ll get some type of immediate validation. The type of aloneness said I was feeling stems from my own unhappiness, and the realization that I’d never in my budding adult life been content with being by myself. I was always with someone in someway doing something that made me feel more fulfilled than I would have if I were by myself . I’ve been meaning to write a book on a myriad of topics ranging from but not limited to the black experience in excess of the white neighborhoods, childhood, and more. I w

There are moments where one person can consume you... Is it healthy absolutely not! Is it possible yes! For the last two months I have consumed myself with one person, I have seen this person in both the good and the bad. But I realize now he should not be defining my happiness. My happiness does not depend on this person. I should not dictate my life over how this individual has treated me or how how they have made me feel. I  have realized that I am ready to grow up and see that there is always something better there for me. I always want you guys to remember these few lessons that I have learned recently from my friends and for myself: 1. Focus on you In this life time you will realize that your happiness should be your main priority. Take a step back and ask yourself, is this good for me. Stop trying to make everyone in your life happy. Not everyone will be. At the end of the day this is your life, if someone won't take that opportunity to share it with you, then they'

So for the last month and a half or so, it's been very hard for me to write. It's not because I have nothing to write about, because honestly I do. But it's been hard to for me to even look at this blog because I've been too afraid to say anything that would potentially make someone uncomfortable. The other fear was that I would have myself too exposed for for everyone to see. For a really long time I have tried to limit myself to how much people know about me. I have always felt that if people knew too much it would potentially hurt me in the end. I think my barriers are higher especially when I talk to someone I am interested in or even when I feel like I have fallen out of grace. For two years now I have tried to limit myself to how I handle my emotions. I do so in order to protect myself from judgement or how people might perceive me. In many cases I try push things to the side and make it seem like things do not bother me in order to protect myself from acting

It’s been a minute.  The last two weeks have been the most transformative experience I’ve had in the past few months. I wrote this post on a plane home from a girls trip to Hawaii. The trip was SO restorative and more peaceful that I could’ve ever imagined. My best friend Poppy, one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met helped me through a series of emotions, emotions which had been causing me to be anxious and confused. The most pervasive feeling I had been feeling for weeks now was brokenness, and it wasn’t until I talked with her that I could identify it’s presence in my life. Let me tell you what I revealed to Poppy: In the months following my split, I had this intense desire to do EVERYTHING I wanted to— going on spontaneous trips, partying, pushing the limit with my clothing choices, splurging on whatever I wanted, going on dates, meeting new friends, and so much more. I hadn’t done those things in two years and I felt like it was time to live a little. But som