Skip to main content

Growing out of friendships


There is always one person in your life that just might walk right out of it. This person may be your significant other or maybe even your best friend. Maybe you'll see it coming, maybe you won't. Someone once told me that "you will never experience pain than when you lose a best friend." This is something I can relate to because one of my closest friends left my life a few months ago without any explanation. But I also saw it coming in certain ways.

I'm not going to name names but I will definitely explain the experience. It all happened in August right before school started. For a couple of months, I had been feeling that we had been growing apart and we were talking to each other less. From what I can remember I was slowly realizing that I was not getting invited to things and I would feel left out when I was around her. I had known this girl my WHOLE life and we talked about EVERYTHING together, which is why when things started to change it felt like a culture shock. But around the end of August, everything about our friendship stopped. The texts stopped, the conversations stopped, and that friendship seised to exist. From what I can say I was really hurt because this was the girl I saw as one of my bridesmaids. I cried a lot it was almost like a breakup and I couldn't explain why it ended, maybe it was me. Sometimes I still think was all me. I still see her around sometimes at events, we're cordial but it's not the same. Sometimes I miss that friendship because she was almost like my little sister.

Some times I wonder if that relationship ended because I stopped texting her first. In the back of my mind, I always wanted her to, you know, reach out to me and tell me what happened. Maybe that's selfish...maybe it was me trying to see if she wanted to be in my life you know.

Recently I have thought about reaching out to her to ask what went wrong to see how she was doing. Maybe there was a miss communication. On my part, I should have tried harder to see what was up but I think I was too scared.

So here is my advice to myself and to you; If you want someone to be in your life expect them to make the same effort you do. If you don't make an effort they will not either. If you want to know how they are just hit them up at least you tried. You may not like confrontation but sometimes you have to confront things in life that make you uncomfortable. If that friend decides that they don't want to stay around for your good and your bad no matter the circumstance, then don't make yourself sad. Realize that there are so many other people in your life that probably would. Make connections and be honest.  Stay hopeful my friends!

Love,
Kate






















Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If You Knew This About Me, You Might See Me Differently

January 10, 2019: "I woke up on January 1, 2019 in a pool of vomit containing bits of greens, fried chicken, and Sauvignon Blanc. I’m done feeling badly for myself. So what’s up? Let’s talk. I began to realize that I was profoundly alone. Don’t get me wrong, I was not alone in the sense that I didn’t have anyone I can turn to. I have a very loving family, one who’s always there for me and particularly supportive sister who I can call with any trouble or stress I have and know that I’ll get some type of immediate validation. The type of aloneness said I was feeling stems from my own unhappiness, and the realization that I’d never in my budding adult life been content with being by myself. I was always with someone in someway doing something that made me feel more fulfilled than I would have if I were by myself . I’ve been meaning to write a book on a myriad of topics ranging from but not limited to the black experience in excess of the white neighborhoods, childhood, and more. I w
1 comment
Read more

On Being A Solo Act: Your Goals, Your Happiness

I've always been an overachiever. Since birth, I've taken what I wanted. More often than not, with hard work, I've found myself face to face with success. I enjoyed the journey. I am not saying this to gloat. I want to offer you some context as to why I feel so incredibly useless and defeated recently. I walked at my graduation on May 30th, 2019 in recognition of both of my degrees. I formally graduated with my bachelor's degree six months ago. Today I am completing my last course for my Master's degree. You want to know what's fucked up? I am 21 years old,  I can officially say that in four years, I was able to get both a Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree, all while juggling the bullshit I've discussed at length on the blog. And that's INCREDIBLE. But, I don't see my situation as such most of the time. I see an absence of goals. As if all I am is the product of my schooling, I'm wondering what's next, all while being dep
1 comment
Read more

Contributing Writer: Anda

2020, is the first year I will be entering since 2015, entirely on my own. For four years, I was emotionally abused, bullied, mistreated, and torn apart time and time again all at the hands of someone that I thought I couldn’t live without. Being without him meant there was no me. Being without him meant I couldn’t go on with my life. I had to be with him to grow, I needed a future with him. I had to make sure he was on track with his school work. I had to do his school work. I had to cook for him, clean his room, and be there for every emotional problem he had. And then when he no longer needed me or had no use for me, he threw me aside like garbage and came back a month or two later when he would need me again. For four years in a row, my heart was played with and he covered his reasoning with “love.” “I do this because I love you, i track you because i love you, i don’t let you hang out with your friends because i love you, I argue with you about guys looking at you because I love y
Post a Comment
Read more