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Focus & Balance: Staying on Your Destined Course

It is SO hard "adulting". 



Life pops up in numerous, challenging ways. And then there are also distractions. For whatever reason, recently I have been plagued with distractions. I have been having so much fun with my girlfriends every week, WITH. OUT. FAIL. From Wednesday through Sunday, it seems like life is just one big party. Maybe I have been going out so much recently because for the past two years, I did not really enjoy myself like I wanted to. Regardless, what is becoming increasingly apparent now is that I need balance. 


In the quiet moments of my life, when I analyze all of the dates I have gone on, or when I process all of the parties I go to, all of the questionable choices I make-- I ask myself: "What is my destination"? When I deviate from focusing on school or from even going to the gym for long enough, the answer to that question becomes blurry. I can often become filled with doubt or anxiety as I find myself anywhere but grounded. Additionally, living on my own, I do not have the constant reminders from my family and friends to stay on track like I once did. So, what do I do?

I don't really know what to do often, but I am figuring it out.

One thing I am certain of is that my life NEEDS structure. When I create a schedule for myself, I tend to be miles more productive and focused on my tasks at hand. Unfortunately, doing this is much harder than it seems. It can be overwhelming to stare at the multitude of tasks you have to complete in a limited amount of time. But, it has to be done. Admitting to myself that I have responsibilities is humbling. I need to do what I came to New York to do so as to move forward with my life.

The second thing I do is push myself... hard. Today, I resolved to do some work I had been putting off for weeks. It was SO hard. An article that should have taken me an hour to read took me two hours, and I was jittery and uneasy the entire time. But I kept pushing myself mentally to keep going. When I was done, I felt amazing. When I can't push myself, I rely on Kate or other girlfriends to lift and hype me up.

Another thing I do is just stop. I take a moment to reevaluate and to reprioritize. What is important to me: Is it my relationships with others? My degrees? My health? My time? At any given point in time the answer to these question changes, which makes this harder. However, reorienting myself makes life a little easier in the long run. I have to remind myself of hard truths and allow myself to be open to disappointment and fear.

Lastly, I take the time to take care of myself. After a long, hard day, I take a warm shower, heat up some tea, give myself a facial, do my nails, or whatever I need to do to feel put together. Then, I try my best to dive into whatever I need to get done.

I do not always have my shit together. Often times, I can go three or four weeks and be really productive before falling of the wagon, but I fall nonetheless. Even still, it is so important that I get back up. I am learning how important it is that I learn how to be self-suffieceint and cultivate good habits. I fight urges to be lazy or to have fun when I need to be serious, because at the end of the day, if I have fun and screw up, I won't be wishing I had more fun... I'll wishing I had been more focused.

I want to encourage you through whatever struggles you're going through with a lack or focus or dedication. You can do this! You are strong and resilient, and no ONE, except for you can stand in your way. You have options, and you are in control. Go get it done!

xoxo,

Constance
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