We'reOkay

This picture on the We're Okay insta is one of my favorite pictures because it did good numbers on instagram, my body looks amazing and I look like I’m living my absolute best life. That’s the thing about instagram though, you post when you look your best and when you’re succeeding in life. That’s what instagram is all about, looking Happy. What instagram and most of my friends and family don’t know is how utterly depressed I was when I took this picture. I just graduated from Queens College in May 2019 with a bachelors degree in Psychology. Our whole lives from Pre-School until graduation day we have a core part of our identity...we are students. Once I was no longer a student I felt fucking lost to be honest. I had a degree in Psychology, 3 years worth of retail experience, and no motivation to go back to school. For every single Internship or entry level position you need at LEAST 1 year of relevant work experience. I had 0 years of relevant work experience so after app

2020, is the first year I will be entering since 2015, entirely on my own. For four years, I was emotionally abused, bullied, mistreated, and torn apart time and time again all at the hands of someone that I thought I couldn’t live without. Being without him meant there was no me. Being without him meant I couldn’t go on with my life. I had to be with him to grow, I needed a future with him. I had to make sure he was on track with his school work. I had to do his school work. I had to cook for him, clean his room, and be there for every emotional problem he had. And then when he no longer needed me or had no use for me, he threw me aside like garbage and came back a month or two later when he would need me again. For four years in a row, my heart was played with and he covered his reasoning with “love.” “I do this because I love you, i track you because i love you, i don’t let you hang out with your friends because i love you, I argue with you about guys looking at you because I love y

Waking up every morning and not feeling that you are worth it is the worst. You feel like everything you do doesn’t matter and what you look like does. You wake, up brush your teeth, look in the mirror and look there you are. What is your meaning? what is your purpose, why are you so scared? Why do you look like that? For the last year or so this negative mentality was what I was dealing with. I was so in the mindset of perfection that it just gave me stress and sadness. I was always looking at myself and picking on myself, every part of my life I was critiquing negatively. One of the major causes of my self image issues was how I looked at myself. What I would do is look at old pictures of myself from Highschool. I wouldn’t look at my accomplishments from Highschool or any good memories; no I would look at myself and say “wow look how skinny I look here, wow I look so good, why can’t I be like this now?” Not only did this bring my confidence down but it would completely ruin my week.